Living without Mum

Viviens story: remembering the past with a nod to the future.

Losing my mother to breast cancer when she was only 47 years old was devastating and distressing to me as I, myself was just 24 years old at that time. It left my family confused, lost and heartbroken.

Portrait of a Motherless Daughter
Standing at the Prince of Wales Sydney Hospital, suddenly the heart machine stopped, the chemotherapy ceased and the endless medical appointments and cancer treatment was just a faint distant memory. Now I realised I was a motherless daughter .

Operating without my Mother has been a painful journey because everyday you are reminded that her presence is simply missing as it permeates like a soft mist in every area of your life. Just like that, you feel terribly ALONE as you learn to be by yourself at a cafe watching other mothers conversing with
their daughters joyously, playing with their babies in the pram, chasing their toddlers at a playground centre, browsing clothes together and window shopping. But, NO sadly not the case for me because you see, I am a motherless daughter.

I remind myself again to look away because I have learnt to live without my best friend, my mentor, my confidant, my wind beneath my wings.

The one who says, "take that dress off, it's terrible on you honey" in an earnest way. The one that hugs you tight while your tears are rolling down your cheeks as you recount a horrible event in your work day. The one who will give you that secret forgotten ingredient in that family favourite winter's casserole recipe. The one that is simply your everything! But, again I remind myself that I am a motherless daughter now.

Remembering the past with a nod to the future and honouring a beautiful woman, a devoted wife and tireless loving mum to me and my brother, is something that I am passionate about.

Motherless daughters need to be united and stand firm against the patronising and indifferent comments. We need to teach the public that there is a real hurt, a real need for comfort and support and that it is a grief that has no end to its breadth or width. A bottomless pit, an ache that endures for ever and ever until we meet again in another dimension and in a heavenly realm.

We as motherless daughters, love one another, salute one another and remember our beautiful mothers.

- Vivian

OTHER STORIES

Living without Mum

Steph's Story: I became a motherless daughter at age four

As I got older it started to hit me a little harder that she was gone. I always envied my friends when their mums would pick them up from school, take them shopping and simply have someone to call ‘MUM’.

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Living with Grief

Morgan's Story: I lost my mother, father, and two sisters, when I was 9 months old

I’ve censored myself for most of my life, avoiding mentioning that I’ve grown up without most members of my biological family, all but erasing them from my narrative in order to appease the feelings of others.

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Living with Grief

Anne's story: making beauty from pain

This loss is the kind of pain nobody knew how to be around, and few chose to, especially because my mother’s death was taboo. She died by suicide, and as a mother of young children this was an act so unusual and so misunderstood.

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Living with Grief

Lucinda's Story: My mum died when I was 14

She was my favourite person, my sense of home, my safe space, the centre of mine, my siblings and father’s world. She was fun and adventurous, loving and kind, sweet and compassionate. She was a lot of things to a lot of people, but to me she was just my mum and I freakin loved her.

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Finding Support

Kate's story: grief is never ending

In December 2021 it will be two years since Mum passed away. I have spent these past two years getting to know myself on a whole new level. I have learned to sit with those uncomfortable feelings until they pass.

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Finding Support

Claire's story: I am a motherless daughter

I do believe I can grow around my grief though, like Mum grew around her illness, and like I have grown, somehow, after her passing. Even though I didn’t think I wanted to, or that it was possible.

READ

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SUPPORT DAUGHTERS WHEN THEY NEED IT MOST.

OUR MISSION

TO HELP WOMEN NAVIGATE LIFE’S JOURNEY WITHOUT MUM.

Motherless Daughters Australia acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the traditional owners and custodians of the land, sea and nations and pay our respects to elders, past and present.
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